There is a collective force rising up on the earth today, an energy of the reborn  feminine . . . She remembers our function on earth . . . This is a time of a monumental shift, from the male dominance of human consciousness back to a balanced relationship between masculine and feminine. The Goddess archetype doesn’t replace God; she merely keeps him company. She expresses his feminine face.

Marianne Williamson — A Woman’s Worth



We all know the terms heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and transsexual. And society has continued to require more terms, such as solosexual, asexual, demisexual, pansexual, and the epitome of affluent urban male lifestyle, the metrosexual. Let me introduce you to my term: the strictly female, lesbian or straight, uterosexual!

So what is a uterosexual?

Explained in simplistic terms, a uterosexual is a woman who is able to publicly acknowledge the precious and immense importance of her femaleness and the rewarding friendships she has with her close female friends.

A uterosexual is a woman who is very proud to be female. And often Motherhood can be the trigger that allows a woman’s uterosexuality to, as they say, truly come ‘out of the closet’ for the first time … because before then, they had simply been a female in a unisex world, but now they’re a woman in the woman’s world dominated by pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.


Thousands of years ago, before the patriarchal god(s) of most of today’s religions, there had always co-existed reverent beliefs in the uniquely feminine powers, such as the many Celtic, Greek, Roman Egyptian and Hindu goddesses. But over thousands of years this slowly changed, to the point that nearly all of man’s gods came to be depicted as male; and the status of women slowly and violently declined. Females were no longer sacred, mystical and powerful — no, they were impure, unclean and stigmatised. Eventually, most women around the world were seen to be part of their husbands’ chattels, because their bodies were sinful and unclean, and their intellects inferior. They were expected to ‘love, honour and obey’ their husbands.

The first modern wave of the movement to vehemently oppose the long- held belief in women’s second-class citizenship came with the suffragettes winning the right for women to vote; later, two world wars saw women doing the work of men.

The second wave came in the 1960s and ’70s, with women’s liberation, the sexual revolution, widespread use of contraception and economic equality. It was the prophesised ‘dawning of the New Age of Aquarius’ (which saw patriarchy being slowly forced to give way to matriarchy).

The third wave of feminism was the 1990s’ giddy era of Girl Power, as strong womanhood became revered and normalised with envelopes being intentionally pushed. Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues; Sex and the City’s Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte; Spice Girl’s Ginger, Scary, Sporty, Posh and Baby; and the decade’s catchphrase “You go girl!”


Uterosexuals naturally understand that when a woman is feeling over-whelmed with anger, sadness, fear or sorrow, it is the little girl within her — the one with clouded vision — who is feeling vulnerable and aware of what she is missing. She has to go through a cathartic ‘housekeeping’ cycle of bottoming-out, before she can begin to get back up and feel fulfilled again with what she has. Uterosexuals intuitively know that while she’s down, all she really needs is an empathetic non-judgemental and loving reassuring ear to listen to her. She needs to share her feelings of what she’s going through to ‘get it off her chest’, so she can release, heal and purify her emotions. Uterosexuals instinctually know that with support, patience and understanding, their girlfriend’s darkness will be temporary, and that she will eventually spontaneously rise up from the ‘depths of her well’.

So I encourage you, as a woman, to open your heart and free any inhibitions of your own uterosexuality. Many of us belong to what the academics define as the ‘fourth wave’ of feminists — a group that I like to call the ‘uterosexuals’ — strong women who are emancipated, educated, ambitious, feminine, intuitive, articulate and immensely proud of their almighty womanliness. These are the feminine feminists, women who love being women, love being womanly and love being powerful.

‘Girl Power’ is finally passé. The metrosexual’s  significant  other now has her own proud title! Yes the fourth wave of feminism has arrived, with uterosexual women who are exceptional, intelligent, sophisticated, influential and sexy.

Welcome to this next generation!



Kathy Fray is NZ’s No.1 best-selling author on birth, babies & motherhood, her toddlers-to-preteens book has also become an Amazon best-seller in North America, and her parenting body-mind-spirit guide recently received prestigious manuscript awards. Kathy was also the APAC 2017 NZ Maternity Author of the Year, as is the founding director of the SOMCANZ inaugural global conference on Integrative Maternity HealthCare.

Find Kathy on: